


Dogs of War

by MusicRose



Category: Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Canon - Book, Dogs, Don't we love them?, Four Horsemen, Friendship, I'm Sorry, Male Pollution, Maybe - Freeform, Minor OOC, Or i'm an idiot, Out of Character, Post-Canon, Pre-Canon, They are kind hard to write, War is an idiot with feelings, What Was I Thinking?, depends on the chapter, hope at least somebody likes it!, i think, mostly book canon anyway, ya girl still hasn't watched the series fully so mostly book canon
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-02
Updated: 2020-07-26
Packaged: 2021-02-28 17:00:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,321
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23450584
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MusicRose/pseuds/MusicRose
Summary: Dogs have always been used in the life of humans, including fights between them. So what happens when War decides to accidently pick up a few on the way. And there is absolutely no reason they look like the other Horsepersons. None at all.
Relationships: Death & Famine & Pollution & War (Good Omens), Death & War (Good Omens), Famine & War, Pollution & War (Good Omens)
Kudos: 14





	1. DEATH

**Author's Note:**

> Aight, this had been sitting in my Doc since like November. Decided to finish it and get it out, maybe somebody will like it? I kinda do and wanted to share it. Sorry if Death seems OOC! Or War for that matter.  
> Any comments will be appreciated :D Stay safe peeps! Also fully based on the song Dogs of war by Blues Saraceno. Or rather inspired, give it a listen if you can.

War raised a perfect brow as the black pharaoh hound stared at her.

“Nice to see you too, Nunu.” She drawled on, the dog just huffing out as if annoyed at her. 

She hadn’t seen him in a long while, not since the 19th century she was sure. She was sitting in a hotel room, getting ready for another trip. Arms dealers could never rest, especially ones as much needed as her. Making minor wars into big ones.

She sighed and smiled as voices started to be raised from the room nextdoor. How simply wonderful~

Though it still boggled her, what was he even doing here? He had never appeared without a reason in the millenia she knew him.

“Anything you wanna tell me, sweetie?” She cooed, leaning down to scratch him behind the ears. The dog glared at her as his tail wagged, with panting that most owner would mistake as happy. She knew he wasn’t at least and was relishing in it. Though he eventually tried to bite her, so she quickly moved away.

“Testy.” She chuckled, the dog moving towards the door. He looked back, as if wanting her to follow. “Nunu what-”

She was cut off by a loud growl, the dog hated being called that. She knew that full well and honestly didn't care.

“I am not going to only call you anything but that. Deal with it.” Her nose crinkled, turning around with an amble back towards the bed. She slightly turned her head as the dog rolled his eyes, before jumping and grabbing her pant leg. “Okay, okay! Lead the way my mangy pharaoh.” An amused smile played on her lips as the fight was getting louder, furniture breaking against what was probably torsos and heads.

Nunu lead her out of the dingy room, his sudden urgency gone. He strolled towards the reception, Red following with morbid curiosity on her mind. What was with him? He only appeared whenever she passed Death and Azazel was not easy to miss. Usually a giant, skinny figure with a skull for a face stands out. Maybe just a tad, you know?

Her red hair lingered over her face as she puffed it away, her orange eyes surveying where she had been lead. The motel reception was shabby and run-down, just like out of a bad B-horror movie. There were two gaudy couches, that had probably went out of style two weeks after being bought, a glass coffee table that looked to be made of more stains than actual glass. The reception desk had a computer and the poor sap working had fallen asleep at the job, snoring rather loudly at that. But there was one other sound, a Trivial Pursuit machine being used by a rather lanky man in a hoodie. But no sign of the main event, a sense similar to relief washing over her. Death had never been really 'one of the lads', like an out of touch boss and whom you avoid on the street if you can. Except she can't avoid this one.

"Really, Nunu? What? Did you want to pee on the couches? Bite the receptionist?" She asked with a sarcastic drawl, again barely avoiding being bitten by the dog. "Watch yourself! I wi-"

WAR.

You have to know, War was used to everything and anything. She didn't get scared, she didn't even know if she feared anything. Could they even feel fear?

Anyways, War was not easy to scare. But this? It made her jump. Maybe just a tad.

Nunu looked rather pleased with himself and sat down, with what could only be described as an arrogant smirk.

"Oh! Hello there, hadn't uh seen you there." She looked around, trying to find the source of the voice. Her eyes caught that the movement of the player had stopped, Nunu sauntering over to them. That's when it clicked.

"Ah...Hadn't seen you in a long while. Got any business here?'

I HAVE BUSINESS EVERYWHERE AND ALL THE TIME

"Oh, yes yes." She took a tentative step closer, not really knowing what to do. It wasn't the Apocalypse or anything concrete to give them a reason to interact.

I HAD BEEN IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD, YOUR NEIGHBORS HAD BEEN RATHER QUICK.

The head inclined down, taking a good look at the dog.

WHAT IS THIS?

"It's...It's a dog." She wasn't sure what else to say? She couldn't really be sarcastic with him, that would fly over his head or piss him off. Which possibility was worse, she wasn’t sure.

HUMANS DOMESTICATED THESE, CORRECT? I HEARD THEY ARE GOOD COMPANIONS. 

"Well, they aren't  _ bad _ . Most of mine are sweet, Nunu is just annoying most of the time."

NU-NU?

"He had a tag when I found him way back when. A name with only Nu being eligible. Pestilence guessed Anubis or simply Nu at the time. He hates it though." She smiled, the dog glaring daggers at her.

AHA, INTERESTING.

It was very much  _ not _ interesting, but they couldn't go off much else. What happened next, nearly made her run to see if swine had evolved to start flying. Death reached down, a bony hand started to awkwardly pet the dog.

ODD.

"What's odd?"

HE SEEMS OLD. AND I DON'T KNOW WHEN TO KILL HIM.

"About that...I may or may not have just made him like us."

LIKE US?

"The whole, can't be killed by time unless you go the extra mile and decide so. Maybe a few extra other tricks. Though this asshole spends most of his time in his bubble."

DOGS LIVE IN BUBBLES NOW?

"No, no. I just, have homes for them. I call them bubbles."

A RATHER ODD NAME FOR SOMETHING CREATED BY YOU.

"You can't really describe them otherwise. Just little spots they can do whatever they want in there."

WHY?

"I-" That was a good question, why had she done so?

After a few moments of deliberation no desirable answer came up. So she stuck with a shrug, while he continued to give the dog affection. Nunu was enjoying it, his tail picking up the grime and dirt of the floor and moved the head every so often to get better scratches. The bastard never let her pet him like this, yet here he was living it up with what would be considered her boss. That little suck up.

“Well it was nice seeing you-” It had absolutely not been. “-but I will head back. Have uh fun you two.” 

ARE YOU SURE ABOUT THAT?

“There isn’t much else we can talk about and from what I know, Doomsday isn’t coming soon.” She leaned against the wall, her orange eyes showing off her uneasiness. Humans were so much easier, just stab or scare them. If she tried that, who knows what would be left of her. There may be a day when wars won’t exist, but death isn’t going to go anywhere. Ever-present, no escape from him.

TRUE, BUT I AM CURIOUS ABOUT SOMETHING.

“Shoot.”

WHY WOULD I SHOOT YOU? 

“It’s-not...It’s a figure of speech. Just ask me what you need.” She sighed, nearly pinching the bridge of her nose like a teenager trying to explain to her extremely out of touch grandfather. Scratch that, make it her extremely out of touch great-great-great-great grandfather.

WHY DID YOU GET SUCH A CREATURE?

“No idea.” Her reply was swift and dry, something she had considered herself. “Maybe I’ve been around humans for too long.” She snickered, trying to keep herself relaxed. It was failing, quite badly too.

YOU MENTIONED MOST OF THEM WERE SWEET, THERE ARE OTHERS?

The hooded figure slightly turned himself, Nunu resting his head in his lap. The head slightly turned, the familiar skeletal smile greeting her.

“Yeah, around four of them. Why?”

FOUR?

“Yep.” She popped the ‘p’ on the reply, feeling as if she was being interrogated. What was he getting at?

WHAT ARE THEY?

“One of them is a German shepherd, I think the skinny one should be an Afghan hound and one I picked up a tad after Pestilence retired, the one I had went with him.” She crossed her arms, looking at Death to try and keep her cool.

Death looked down at the dog, patting its head before turning back to the machine.

MAYBE YOU HAVE BEEN AROUND TOO LONG WITH ALL THE HUMANS.

“And what makes you suddenly say that?” Her voice a tad defensive, the old angel was getting on her very thin nerves.

ONE DOG LOOKS LIKE THE EGYPTIAN GOD OF DEATH, ONE IS SKINNY, ONE I WILL GUESS LIKES TO GET DIRTY.

“Wait-”

WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU SAW THE OTHER TWO OF US?

“Why does that matter?”

I THINK YOU ACCIDENTLY GOT ATTACHED TO US. His reply was direct as always, but for some reason she didn’t like this idea.

“I do not ‘get attached’. None of us are supposed to.” She gripped the leather of her jacket, glaring at his back.

NOT SUPPOSED TO? YES. BUT SINCE DOES ANYBODY CARE FOR THE RULES?

A silence fell over the two of them, Nunu sitting patiently next to Death as he continued to play.

YOU NEVER ANSWERED MY QUESTION.

“Mafeking and I honestly don’t know about the newbie. We don’t cross paths like you and Famine.” Her voice had a bite to it, she was not happy. At all. Who was he to go around saying stupid things like that? What did he know? 

AH, OH WELL.

“Anything else you wanna say or may I go, Azazel?” She knew using that name was a tad of a risk, but currently she didn’t care. Couldn’t care what he thought.

YOU MAY GO. I’LL KEEP THE DOG A BIT.

“He doesn’t seem to want to leave. Don’t even know why he wanted me to come along if he wanted to be with you.”

MAYBE HE THOUGHT YOU NEEDED A TALK. WITH SOMEBODY YOU WILL ACTUALLY TALK TO.

“I don’t need nothing and you know it!”

DENIAL ISN’T ONLY A RIVER IN EGYPT YOU KNOW?

“I-Who-What?” That left her completely flabbergasted, what was with him today?

I HEARD IT SOMEWHERE, THOUGHT IT MIGHT FIT HERE.

Being rendered speechless, War simply turned on her heel, practically storming out of the reception area. Nunu whined, looking up at Death who put one hand on his head.

YES SHE IS VERY STUBBORN. I DON’T KNOW HOW YOU DEAL WITH HER.

Another whine and bark followed, Death looking down at him.

WHATEVER YOU SAY NU. I SUPPOSE SOMEBODY BASED ON ANGER AND POLITICS WOULD BE A TAD UNHINGED.  


Nunu replied with something that made Death stop and look down at the dog again.

YOU’RE LUCKY I’M IN THE MIDDLE OF A GAME OR ELSE YOU WOULD JOIN YOUR FAMILY.

The dog simply made a sound similar to sneezing as if it didn’t believe the angel. Death didn’t comment further, no use in arguing anyway. Like master like dog he supposed.


	2. Famine

War grunted quietly, feeling rather ticked off. First they refused to serve her because she was wearing pants, second she couldn’t even steal a drink once a fight started. Apparently they didn’t have their alcohol under the bar and thirdly Pestilence had been a bastard. She had been forced to move on before she could do anything good, because apparently ‘everybody was stealing his spotlight’. Oh please, he got so many jobs from her!  
The glass she had stolen from one of patrons broke in her hand, with her scoffing and throwing it on the ground. Well, it wouldn’t be long before something fun started. British royalty, a war already happening near here and she was going to cheer up soon enough. Another person joined the fight in the bar, which was simply adorable!

She got up deciding to get some air, it was a nice night after all. After a short stride, she was leaning against the wall watching the stars. Her hand reached into her pockets, pulling out a pack of cigarettes.  
Once it was lit, she stared as the smoke disappeared into the air.  
“Care to share? I do believe that you still owe me one.” The voice was smooth and charming, War lazily turning her head. She was met with a pale face, graced with a black beard and equally black short hair. Dark sunken eyes met hers as she opened the box offering the cig.  
“How long has it been?”  
“I would say too long.” He smiled a thin smile, slightly leaning down so she could light the thing.  
“You still go by-”  
“Oh, no no. Throw that out of your memory. Haven’t you heard? He died in Baloch.” He chuckled, seeming so amused with himself.  
“Really? What a shame.” She spoke dryly, puffing smoke into the night air. “So, what is your new name, if I may ask? Or are you going to continue to play coy?”  
“Say hello to Dr Raven Sable, a real entrepreneur, he is starting a food business soon that will be just a wonderful endeavour.”  
“Doctor?” She quirked a brow, human titles were so odd.  
“Humans trust physicians with their health, and oh so many ladies are looking how to lose weight.”  
“Oh, yes. I have to congratulate you on getting that social norm through. First you just suggested, what was it again? Rearrange fat?”  
“Correct. I do wish I could have seen you fit into a corset, probably looked like a very nice lady. Almost ‘proper’.”  
“Shut up. And they weren’t much of a problem, it’s the skirts that are irritating. When will you make women wear trousers? Say it makes them look slim or something else so dense that they will eat it up?”  
“Hmmm...When I feel like it. What? No mentions of my diets catching on in the 1840s?”  
“Do I look like I follow fads, dear Doctor Raven Sable?” Her voice dripped with annoyance, with him laugh that followed her comment as dry as the damn things they were smoking.

“Far from it Red.” He turned his head towards her, a certain affection in his voice. “With how you act, people might label you a feminist you know? Wearing pants, smoking and oh Him forbid, drinking alcohol.”  
“What can I say? I’m amazing. That will be fun to follow.”  
“What do you mean?”  
“That feminist nonsense you mentioned. Remember how much I did with just some men grumpy at that small island? Or some angry French peasants?”  
“I still can’t believe you actually wore a yellow dress for that.” He laughed, flicking the bud into the darkness. “Seemed badly tailored from what I saw in the picture that you sent me.”  
“The artist took some liberties. Thought it would reach a wider audience or some other nonsense.”  
“Well it always draws looks in my office.”  
“I think the French flag catches their attention more than some breasts.”  
“Whatever you tell yourself, War.” He pat her shoulder, which earned him a slap over his head.  
Their back and forth was interrupted by movement in the distance.  
“You see that?”  
“Hmm?” She lazily looked away, noticing somebody or rather something running at them. “Mmm...should I shoot it or pierce it? Target practice is always fun.”  
“Your choice, but feels like a waste of a bullet.” As they debated, War’s eyes widened as she realized what was coming closer.  
A deep bark cut through the night, before a dog thinner than a toothpick jumped up at War. With ease she caught the dog, who seemed very excited to see her.  
“Oh, hi Stark.” A smile tugged at her lips as she was licked all over, before putting him down.  
Famine cocked a brow, watching the two of them. He looked down at the dog, which tilted its head at him. It barked once more, before jumping at Famine who simply took a step back. The afghan hound whimpered, War watching them.  
“Is this yours?”  
“No, I pick up every animal that comes my way because I am such a nice soul that simply adores animals Famine.”  
“Wasn’t that a bit harsh, my dear?”  
“Ask stupid questions, get stupid answers.”  
“So, Stark? Isn’t that a bit of an odd name?” He inquired with curiosity, War leaning down and gently tugging at the collar to show off a name tag.  
“You are one to speak, Raven. Really? After one of Her animals?” She snickered, gently petting the dog’s head.  
“This feels familiar.”  
“Egypt?” She put him down, the dog looking at Famine.  
“Most definitely.” He seemed fascinated with him, smiling as well.  
“Looks so thin and frail.”  
“I thought he would be up your alley. Come on, he doesn’t bite-much.” She gave a toothy grin, with the dog whining at how Famine was avoiding petting him.  
“Why am I always the bad guy?”  
“Not my fault.” She cooed, watching him lean down and start petting Stark.  
“The fur is surprisingly soft.”  
“He likes to keep clean. It’s like a walking carpet.”  
“Beautiful and soft?”  
“Gathers dirt and needs constant cleaning.”  
“You are horrible.” He shook his head, with her laughing.  
“Yet you still love me. So, shut up~” As she spoke a person was thrown through a window, barely missing them. “Come on, a walk will do us well.”  
“I’ll bite. May I just ask, why white?”  
“I dunno, I don’t choose them.”  
“You...You don’t? Are you going to say something stupid like, that they choose you?”  
“Of course not. I meant, that I just find one and decide to take it in.”  
“Why are you talking as if, this has happened more than once?” He raised a brow, seeming very amused. “Has War developed a soft spot? Somebody check the skies! Check Hell!”  
“I am going to shoot you.”  
“Aim for the head if you do. Though knowing you, it’s not like you for miss. But you are full of surprises. So, how many are there, hmmm?”  
“Bold of you to assume, that I will tell you.”  
“Fine then, keep your secrets. I will just think it is in the hundreds.”  
She sighed, rubbing at her face. “Four.”  
“Hm?”  
“There’s four of them, happy ya twat?”  
“Very much. What’s their names? Got any photographs? Sat them down for multiple minutes so you can carry them close to your heart?” That earned him a punch in the stomach, with him slightly leaning forward to catch a breathe but was nothing for them.  
“Next time use a knife you coward.”  
“As you wish.” She pulled a butterfly knife from her sleeve, playing with it.  
“That will be fun paperwork, so please do. Why did I lose my mortal coil? Oh, just got stabbed by War because I had asked about her dogs. Oh? You don’t know? She has four of them, loves them more than her own work! I bet she even has cute nicknames for them and smothers them with love.”  
She groaned, putting the weapon away. “Not a word to the others.”  
“You got it.”  
Stark yipped as well, as if answering with Famine.

“Aren’t you just adorable?”  
Stark looked rather proud of at that compliment, keeping his head high.   
“Don’t flatter him too much, if he gets too big of an ego he might do something stupid like change his name to Raven and open a business.”  
“I really do wonder why I tell you about anything? You just use my own passions against me, what a cruel woman.”  
“Because I am fun, and me and Pestilence are the only ones who care enough to listen. Would you really talk to our skeletal co-worker like you do with me?”  
“Of course not!”  
“I thought so. You still call him lord?”  
“...What if I do?”  
She shook her head and snickered at that, Stark running around them full of energy. They continued to walk into the night, talking with the hound occasionally barking to voice his own opinions.


End file.
